Today it has been 2 years since I was diagnosed with triple positive breast cancer and to say it has been an eventful journey is an understatement.

During this time, I have had lots of new experiences, some good, some not so good & definately some life changing ones.
I have had to learn to live a different life, it’s been a journey of change, personal growth and a journey that has truly tested my beliefs about, life, business, family, community and most importantly myself.
I am going to share with you all a bit of this journey today

Over the past 2 years I have had

• 3 surgeries
• 16 rounds of Chemotherapy Treatments
• 1 Emergency Hospital visit due to blood clot
• 30 rounds of Radiation
• Blood transfusion
• 12 months of Herceptin
• 7 different doctors
• 3 scares & 6 tattoos
• Many many scans and blood tests

(I have to say Chemotherapy is the worst thing I have experienced in my life. In fact if I had to give it a label it I’d say its “the devil” and I wouldn’t wish this treatment on anybody.)

This illness takes a lot from your life , some things are very noticeable like loosing your hair, but I think , for me, the most noticeable change that people may not have seen was my confidence.
I remember my first day back at work after nearly 16 months absent.
I didn’t know what I was doing or what my role at work was anymore. I felt like I was in the middle of a dark forest and no one knew I was there and I had to find the courage to admit that I needed help to find my way back to my old life- pre cancer.
I did know that the first step towards finding my purpose, confidence & gratitude again was, i had to find the courage to face reality, I’m human and vulnerable and I asked for help.
Which I received from many different people.
It was at this point I learnt to have acceptance for my feelings and looked beyond the pain and discomfort I was feeling in my mind. I made a conscious decision to step away from my feeling of fear and let go of the feeling of aloneness and to try and look outwards, to start reconnecting with the world around me again.

So, 2 years on after my diagnoses, where am I today?

• Im grateful again.
• I’m discovering what can be learnt from this journey.
• Its through life’s darker and challenging moments that I can see where the light shines most brightly.
• Through this period of distress my happiness and contentment has gradually started to increase.
• I have discovered the joy of small things, (like hair) and the qualities of human nature that I will talk about in a minute.
• Material things fade in importance.
• Most of all I am starting to feel a sense of wholeness again.

I believe kindness is based on personal stories.
It is not a place or thing.
Kindness is a gentle and quiet quality.

For me the most profound experience of kindness took place when I was at my most vulnerable- receiving treatment for breast cancer.
The kindness of family, friends, business associates and this wonderful community that I call home.

Genuine kindness is a gift. One that I am forever grateful to have received in my time of need. I have many people to thank for their kindness.

Friendship – lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. Oprah Winfrey

So in summary, Heres what I have learnt.

Sometimes in life we are pitched a curveball.

It can be hard to feel any sense of gratitude in the midst of a illness. But it is when we have the most to lose that we also have the most to gain.

When life as we know is torn away, we are left with greater awareness of what is most important.

We explore how to cope when gratitude is difficult, and we find ways to replace life’s challenges with hope and forgiveness – and generosity.

Gratitude does not come readily or immediately in every situation. When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, my first feelings weren’t of gratitude for the pain and suffering I was experiencing.

Heck , how could you be grateful, no one would ever want to put their family or themselves through trauma or a life threatening illness.

If You look hard enough, there is always a positive to be taken from a negative. My illness has given me a time of reflection, true purpose and deep gratitude to be here, living, working, and most importantly loving every new experience, relationship and even the challenges that are presented to us each and every day.

Im Grateful to have the opportunity to share with you all. Im not the person I was 2 years ago and will never be the same person again. Life is good and I can’t wait to continue to get on with living my new normal.

Hope is the only thing stronger then fear.
Hope is not pretending that trouble doesn’t exist.
It is the hope that trouble won’t last forever, hurts will be healed and difficulties overcome.
Hope that we will lead ourselves out of the darkness and into the sunshine.

While I’m grateful

Forever Grateful
Nic